I debated with myself for a long time about whether or not I should type this post...for many reasons. But the main reason why I've been hesitant about this post is because I've been worried about how others will perceive me being so candid about something personal in my life. But I've put on my big girl pants and told myself that 1. I am a writer and 2. my personal truths are nothing to be ashamed of. Sure, we have people talking about how there isn't any privacy in the world anymore but I look at it like this, you never know when you may share something about your life that someone else may be struggling with. So with all of those things in mind, I give to you my life learned lessons up until this point. 

Coming into 2014, I was head over heels in love. I felt it in every fiber of my being and I was proud because I thought for once in my life, I'd gotten it right relationship wise. Coming into 2014, I was prepping myself to be a wife...at the tender age of 22. I knew that December was the month that everything would come together beautifully and no one could tell me otherwise. Well, life sure came in and shook up what I thought was set in stone. So to make a long story short, I went from happily in love and engaged to angry,  confused, heartbroken and very single. For a month I blamed myself,  a very familiar and nasty habit that I picked up at the age of 17. The month after that, I blamed the person that I was involved with. Directly after that I blamed both of us...and now? Well, I don't particularly blame anyone. In fact, I dare say that I think that this was meant to happen in order for us to move forward to the next stages in our individual lives.

Say what Jenai? Yes, I know it sounds like the weirdest thing on the face of the planet and I'll be honest, sometimes I scare myself due to how calm I am about the situation at this point. I partially owe that to slowing down and working on learning how to rely on God as well as my mom being one of my biggest support systems. She said a lot of things in the beginning that I clearly didn't want to hear but turns out, those very things have helped keep me sane:

  1. Changes are bound to happen in life, whether you like them or not. You can waste time by worrying yourself into a frenzy or you can roll with the punches. One of these is easier said than done at first but you'll appreciate it later.

  2. Sometimes the first person that you truly fall in love with isn't always the person you end up spending the rest of your life with. It's okay. You will survive.

  3. God is not turning his back on you and leaving you dangling off of the edge of life when things go wrong in your life. Maybe he's actually trying to save you from yourself because face it, while we're pretty talented and intelligent as human beings, WE DON'T HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS TO LIFE...and that's okay. That's where God comes in.

  4. Break the habit of placing your happiness in the hands of others. Do not wait for anyone to add magic to your life. You're more than capable of doing that for yourself and its about time that you start doing so if you haven't already.

  5. You are never too difficult to love...you are deserving of love...always. 

  6. When one door closes, another one WILL open in due time...or maybe even more than one door can open. 

  7. Learn to appreciate the small things in life because they're the very things that create the big picture. The big picture doesn't just pop into your life out of thin air. 

  8. A glass of wine is great on the weekends...pick a day and get in your zone. (This is optional of course). 

  9. Talk to God aka PRAY...he's always willing to listen. But you have to learn to listen to him too...and trust that he has your best interest at heart.

  10. Forgive yourself and anyone else who may have hurt you in life...it's time for you to be free from any negativity that may be weighing you down.

I still have a lot to learn about this life and even about myself...but this time around, I'm breaking the habit of being worried about what's next. Life is too short to worry about why something didn't work out. Some things don't work out in order for better things to fall into place. Life is a process and you have to learn how to trust it...everything works out how it's meant to in due time.