BEEN THERE, DONE THAT 

Truth be told, I have different things that I am still overcoming. As positive as I aim to think for the most part, I am not going to pretend that I've magically figured out how to successfully maneuver through my life. I wasn't kidding when I said that writing is therapeutic because this past week has been indefinitely draining and my patience has been tested in every way from work down to my dating life (which is still a very fuzzy ball of "what the heck"). Every day is a process for me and what I'm learning to do is allow myself to be present in each moment, no matter how frustrating or painful the moment may be. 


One of the things that I've been actively working on overcoming for a while now is being at one within myself instead of taking into account how others feel that I should/shouldn't be. By nature I love to bring joy to the lives of others and while this can be looked at as a good thing, I sometimes find myself bending to the opinions of others when I feel the exact opposite. This has plagued me during interactions with my peers, ex lovers and even family members. I'm also very vocal by nature but somehow I tend to let my people pleasing nature take over in order to avoid unnecessary conflict. Needless to say, I don't end up avoiding conflict because then I begin an internal battle with myself for not remaining true to how I feel. See the pattern yet? 

I think that the more that I acknowledge that I need to give myself space to be myself without worrying about how others feel about that, the more that my actions lead me towards truly taking care of myself. I've found myself removing background noise as I see fit as of late and I've been taking the time out to focus on being within my space, ALONE. Being honest about where I stand at this point in my life has been helping me to clearly visualize the patterns that I need to break in order to live the kind of the life that I would like to live. Instead of screaming, "woe is me," I'm taking the initiative to work on internal habits that cause me distress instead of worrying about outside influences as much. Ultimately I decide how I'm going to maneuver through life and if I continue to allow the opinions of others to rule how I move through my life then I'm always going to be at a state of unrest within myself. The first step to any breakthrough is honesty and then realizing that you have the power to change a situation within yourself. It is a matter of being willing to make the necessary changes to move forward from said situation.