Remember when I made the statement that I wanted to take a break from social media and blogging? Well, I'll be honest. I wanted to take a break because I felt overwhelmed by one aspect of my life and something finally clicked within me yesterday. How fitting is it that Day 11 of GG Renee's November #30Layers30Days: The Quiet Challenge is entitled, "Soulmate"?

Dating in 2014 has been a series of me being shown what I would NOT like in a partner. I used to believe that I knew what a soulmate was...oh who am I kidding? I used to believe that I knew exactly WHO my soulmate was. What I've come to learn while being single is that my first love was simply a mirror of who I was internally and a harsh reminder that I couldn't keep placing my growth + healing process on hold. The funny thing about this is that I would find myself being reminded THREE times (side eye) that Jasmine needs the majority of her attention and that anyone who isn't going to be beneficial to her growth + healing journey doesn't need to hold a place in her life.

So, what does the term 'soulmate' mean to me? I would say that it isn't just someone who is a direct reflection of me. It is someone who encourages me to be the best version of myself. It is someone who stimulates me positively, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and eventually, physically. It is someone who walks with me, patiently and respectfully. A soulmate isn't just someone who gives you butterflies. A soulmate is the human personification of God's everlasting love for me...someone who reaffirms one of God's highest principle's daily.

As I've grown over the past year and even the past few months, I've found myself growing closer to not only God but myself. I'm not a saint but it's not about being a perfect person or a perfect Christian. I'm not interested in being considered perfect in order to receive love and positive feelings on a daily basis. I know now that showing up for myself every day opens up the door for me to pour love into myself. I know now that spending an hour or two at a time, releasing my thoughts on paper, opens the door for me to pour love into myself. I know now that gently parting ways with anyone who will not provide the same amount of love that I know that I can give myself, and therefore deserve, opens up the door for me to pour love into myself. If 2014 hasn't taught me anything else, I know now that self-care is one of the most important things that you can give to opens up the door to your spirit, allowing it to fly. My soul dares to sing loudly and proudly. A soulmate outside of myself should add to this, not complete it. We should move forward together, full of love internally, in a union that God himself would be overjoyed with. Nothing more or less. :)