If this post seems unorganized it is probably due to the fact that every part of me is vibrating with the same energy. How is it possible for one to be unorganized if they feel whole internally? Let me explain it this way: before I made peace with myself, I would put on a facade as if I had everything together internally and externally. When I am 100% excited and joyful which translates into my thoughts running happily at 100 mph, I don't care about being organized. I just think, speak and move in ways that feel good to me. This is how I feel presently. This is WHO I am.

If you ask any of my family members or friends about who I was a child, they'd probably describe me as being a talkative, observant, fearless little girl with a wild imagination, huge dreams and a knack for entertaining as well as creating great stories. When I think of my experiences over the past few years, I find it ironic and utterly satisfying that my subconscious has been nudging me to embrace who I've always been. Being fearless is not so much about never being afraid to me anymore. It's about trusting my instincts and knowing that my intuition is really God's voice. I used to say that I operated off of vibes for a long time and it all makes sense to me now! That's the God in me, helping to steer me towards or away from people and/or things that will either benefit my journey or hinder me. True enough, I've steered away from acknowledging any little voice telling me, "this might not be a good idea" or "this isn't someone you want to invest in" but as they say, "a hard head makes for a soft bottom." Essentially, 23 year old Jasmine Jenai is finally LISTENING instead of jumping to take action first.

For the first time in a long time, I feel fulfilled. Everything that I've always looked for in others has always been within me, I just had to find my way back to those things. No longer do I have to throw myself pity parties or allow my past mistakes + bad experiences define my existence. And apologize to whom about the woman I've always been? The very idea of trying to minimize myself for the comfort of others tickles me pink. I imagine that genuine souls will appreciate me as I am and for those who didn't stick around long enough to enjoy my journey up until this point, thank you because I probably wouldn't have been able to see or appreciate myself for who I truly am. The rejection of others gave me two incredibly strong legs to stand on and a heart that grew 5x in size.

I am grateful for so much and I can finally say, at the end of this post, thank you to the things and people that I've lost this year. I went through the fire and look at me, I'm a polished gem! There is a higher force at hand that wants to see me win no matter how many times I've stumbled through life and no matter how many times I thought that I was unlovable, undesirable and unworthy. I can give wholeheartedly to others now without placing my expectations on them because I know how to be FULL of myself. If we are not on the same page then I simply bid you a loving, "grow in peace." The last thing anyone needs, whether they're ready to understand this or not, is another person in the world kicking them when they're down.

My goal is for each person who reads Nai's Visions to know that you c are never alone and that your growth will always be encouraged here. Thank you for trusting me to be your stylishly vocal and vulnerable confidante in 2014. Thank you for helping to set the tone for 2015.