You know what they say; third time's the charm. All jokes aside, I will be the first to tell you that I didn't plan on being in anyone's relationship this year. I planned on going through 2015 as a single woman who was strictly focused on her goals, needs and wants. I learned a lot about myself while I was single and I admit that everything that occurred after my break-up made me take a long look at myself. I started taking even more responsibility for my actions, even the less than stellar ones, and realized that tough moments aren't necessarily meant to break a person. 

I'm sure you can attest to the fact that things don't always work out how we think they will. Sometimes life throws us painful curve balls to steer us in the direction of greatness or at least I like to think that's what happens. It's easy to want to hold on to what feels familiar but as one of my best friends told me, things will become more uncomfortable and painful the more you try to hold on to something that isn't meant to be a part of your life anymore. Letting go and stepping outside of my comfort zone were completely foreign ideals to me last year but somehow I did it. It may not happen as soon as you decide to let go of something or someone but life has a way of ushering in beautiful surprises when you open your hands. Yes, letting go means that you're opening yourself up to receive much more than you thought you wanted or are worthy of. 

So, I let go and guess what? Life handed me lemons, water, and sugar. It was up to me to decide that I wanted to actually do the work it took to have something refreshing. Fast forward to today and things are different. I'm still unlearning a lot but I'm more open to receiving. Also, I'm learning to stop fighting to be heard and understood so much. Coming from a situation where I felt as if my emotions were stifled or being taken lightly caused me to be extremely firm about my feelings. In other words, and I can honestly admit this, I can be combative at times. Being in a space where I don't feel as if my back is being pushed into a corner is making me realize that it's okay to let my defenses down. I used to believe that letting my guard down meant that I was completely naive and subjecting myself to abuse but that's not the case. Being vulnerable...actually feels damn good. feels comfortable having space to spread my complex wings.