There are parts of me that wish I could tell you not to force things that do not exist but I know that you will learn...eventually. You are stubborn but it isn't because you are hellbent on proving others wrong. You want to prove your conscious wrong because you want to believe that people in the world aren't intentionally bad. You want to spread the love that's growing inside you because you believe that everyone deserves to feel loved. But experience has taught you countless times that some people do not know how to receive the love you want to give. You have felt rejected and sometimes the feeling of rejection creeps into your heart again. You remember how it feels to be told that you are either not good enough or "too much." and it makes your sensitive nature shudder.

I have watched you step into the fire many times because you ached to feel something. Something that proved to you that one bad experience after the other hadn't left you jaded and cold. It took me a while but I realized that you would rather feel the burn from the fire because it made your heart skip a few beats. It replaced the longing you had for men who didn't even try to understand you. It was familiar and you didn't want to try to see what life was like outside of your comfort zone. 

The funny thing about all of that, and yes it is extremely hilarious now, is the fact that you began to outgrow your "comfort zone." You weren't satisfied with forcing things that didn't exist anymore. You weren't even satisfied with playing with fire anymore because all it left you with were painful scars. You learned that you don't even have to stand in the fire to feel alive. Your sensitive nature is still in tact and I think that counts for a lot. Granted you've made some mistakes along the way and you probably always will because you're human. Do away with this idea that you exist to produce perfectionism from your core. 

I say all of this because I know you. You and I are one in the same. I wouldn't be who I am if you didn't exist. Even if society tells you otherwise, you are one hell of a woman and that feisty, charming, intuitive combo thing you've got going on? They're going to continue to come in handy as you inch closer to your purpose. Hold on to yourself. After all, I know you best.


Jasmine Jenai