This the year that I began to feel like a failure for not focusing on branding myself, chasing my dreams or choosing the entrepreneur route. I would hop on social media and find myself bombarded with posts about why working for another company (aka another person's dream) was crazy and find myself going to work with the nastiest outlook. I stopped being as friendly and I argued with my mom several times that there was nothing a 9-5 job could do for me in terms of me pursuing my career. My job was in the way...because some people on social media can't stand the idea of being an employee ("slave") for another person. Never mind the fact that my job gave me paid time off when I suddenly had to take off for a month to be by my sister's side after her son passed. Never mind the fact that an $8,000+ surgery that I had to pay out of pocket hit me in the face two months later. My job was becoming the enemy because it wasn't allowing me to focus on my dreams while simultaneously implementing others' idea of what success looks like. 

Somewhere between this summer and a mere few weeks ago, I got tired of hearing myself judge my current position based on the opinions of others. When I first started working at my job, I was grateful everyday even when it was stressful. I was learning how to be more responsible, how to multi-task on a greater level and so much more. Because I was so wrapped up in what others' considered to be the poster model for success, I quickly allowed that to overshadow my gratitude for my current season. Here's the thing: 1. I never wanted to be an entrepreneur and 2. I'm not really feeling the idea of being a struggling artist just to solidify that I'm chasing my dreams the "correct way" (what?). I feel like some people have this fear of "settling" that they believe their fear should apply to the lives of others. I always say what's meant for a person will always be, no matter how many steps backwards they take or how long it takes them to reach their destination.

I think it's absolutely great that some people have figured out what will and won't work for their lives; people who can plan effectively and stray away from the 9-5 lifestyle. However, some of us don't have it figured out. Some of us are still trying to figure out who the hell we are on top of wanting to pursue our dreams and entrepreneurship may not be in all of our plans. I think that's perfectly okay. There isn't anything wrong with people figuring out what works for their life. Just because it may look like settling to you doesn't necessarily mean that it's settling to the person who is in the situation. Unless you're in someone's exact position, how can you determine that what they're currently doing isn't fruitful? What if God decided they needed to go through a particular season BEFORE he opens the door for more opportunities concerning their dreams to come their way? 

My plans for next year include slowing down and appreciating what I've been given no matter what it looks like to others. It's easy to forget that sometimes we can get in our own way by simply being unappreciative of our current season as if that signifies to the universe that we'll be grateful when we receive what it is we truly want. I believe that everything is a process and sometimes it takes longer for some us to go through it. That's okay. The "baby steps" and the "set backs" we experience in life all add up. My favorite example of this is Tamar Braxton. She's been working and waiting for a good chunk of her life to become successful and look at what God has been blessing her with. Granted, she's had to slow down recently but still. Her "big break" didn't come when she was in her 20s or even her early 30s but it did come

Pursuing what's in your heart doesn't have to be a mirror image of what other people think it should be. If you have to work somewhere that doesn't have anything to do with your dream for a while then so be it and if not, great. Your dream shouldn't even be about what other people want because it was given to you and placed in your heart. No one can take it from you and I'm pretty sure the same people who may have a problem with you "settling" aren't going to help you out financially so do what works for you until its time for the next season in your life. After all, no one can live your life except for you.