Do you know the real reason I decided to go on a food detox that's trickling into other areas of my life? I have commitment issues. Ever since life started calling me out on my bluff and I decided to start doing a deep dive into the root of my issues, I've had to come to terms with this part of myself. Committing to feeling good has been quite a roller coaster. I know what it feels like committing to insecurity, anxiety, anger and impatience. There's no surprise in that cringe-worthy package because they share a common theme: negativity. But committing to love, happiness, peace and pretty much anything good that exists in life? Ha. I've talked myself into believing good things don't last forever and that I shouldn't expect things to happen in life.
You know what I've found out? The more I chose to embrace feeling crappy, the less I wanted to live. I was starting to become perfectly fine with merely existing and doing the bare minimum to get by. Honestly, feeling good is new. Being in a relationship that's full of the support, love and patience I've always wanted is new. Taking a leap of faith and moving to a state I don't have any family in is new. Waking up and choosing to speak positive things over my life + loved ones is new. Feeling good about myself, wearing my hair in it's natural state and wearing whatever I want is new. But...now that I've discovered what's been holding me back (more like who), I feel a little better about walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel instead of running around in circles or walking backwards out of fear that something even worse than I've experienced could be waiting for me on the other side. 

 I don't think of myself as my enemy anymore. I know now that I was just afraid of living in a way that no longer reflected the story I've told about myself. And maybe I felt guilty that I didn't want to keep scraping the sides of my internal barrel for sob stories to share with you. I'm walking towards the light, shedding the layer of me that wanted to stand underneath a blue spotlight and sing sad/angry songs. This spotlight I'm in now is bold and requires me to show up if I'm going to stand in it. So, here I am...a former commitment-phobe committing to feeling good and showing up.
Outfit Detail
1. Red Bubble Faux Fur Coat (in navy)x Missguided
2. Rose Embroidered Dress x Missguided
3. Black Lace-Up Heels x LolaShoetique